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Support for me came in the way of the Family Group.
Westminster House was also good about connecting with us via email and phone calls. The Family Group, however, was the lifesaver. In a safe, secure environment I was able to express all of my emotions, fears and questions about treatment. During the first two weeks of retreat, when all you want to do is reach out and hug your daughter,
I was at least able to hear that my daughter was doing well and becoming healthy again.
Which is especially vital to a mother’s restless mind when your last image of your daughter is seeing her frightened and broken. It was also in the Family Group that I learned about addiction, the 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, treatment and relapse. I learned the most about myself though. I was incredibly blessed to have both Jody and Jen lead the group. Two very different approaches but both getting through to my soul and mind when I needed it most.
Frightening at first and then reassuring that she was safe and in good hands.
As a mother I tend to be hands-on with my children regardless of their age. Once in treatment I started to discover that my child is actually an adult. I know – earth shattering! Regardless, it was still exceptionally challenging to get phone calls hearing distress or sadness in my daughter’s voice at the beginning. Or enduring the range of emotions that came with her getting clean. I wanted desperately to do something to fix the problem.
In the long run I started to understand that not enabling or having a co-dependent relationship is actually doing something!
I was fortunate that addiction didn’t harm our relationship so there wasn’t any profound repairing that needed to occur. What did change was my need to hear from my daughter every day to know that she was ok. That didn’t happen instantly though.
It took time and lots of work on my part. I understand what co-dependency is now and how it was affecting our lives.
I found I was better able to articulate my thoughts, feelings and ideas with the rest of our family and friends. Sometimes much to their chagrin! Some relationships with friends ended but for good reasons and other friendships blossomed.
It’s more open and honest. She’s not trying to figure out my agenda and do what she thinks I want at the expense of what she wants or needs. She is more present when we’re together. She’s always been gentle and kind but she’s stronger now and more aware of her actions.
Our relationship has always been good but it’s truly amazing now. Best of all, I know it’s the real her and I love it!!!
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If you or someone you know is thinking about getting treatment for alcohol or drug addiction apply for The Mother’s Day Gift of Recovery below.
By filling in the form bellow you agree to have your story shared on our website and in the media. We will maintain your anonymity. Before filling out the form please ensure the person you are nominating is willing to come to treatment. Westminster House is a Non-Smoking Program.